This is my last week in school. Its so weird. This is the first time i feel this way. I know i'm leaving but yet i don't really feel anything. Hey don't get me wrong. Its not that i dislike the school and can't wait to get out neither is there a feeling of loss. I seem so nonchalant about the whole thing, which is making me feel queer. When i leave a place i usually feel a sense of foreboding but this time i feel so calm. Its as though i'm in a daze and just passing through a stage. But then again, from the beginning of this year till now i've been living on a day to day basis (metaphorically) that nothing really much surprises me as i am able to accomodate to anything with so much time on my hands that i'm able to shuffle things around so well. Oh well, i still have 4 more days to go so i shan't fret too much about it and take things as they come.


For now i think i should worry more about getting rid of all the bruises on ny arms and legs due to windsurfing on saturday and sunday. It was something fun and new, but i don't think i'd be spending too much attention on it. And to all those that are planning on taking up a windsurfing course, think twice. Its definitely harder than it looks! *laughs. What with all the manuvoring of your hand and feet and trying to get into a stable position on the board whilst also trying to look ahead and catching wind, its definitely no piece of cake! (: But i had fun, i guess if you have people who entertain and encourage you as you all do it together it makes everything much better. But damnn. The bruises are surely a downside to it. By the loks of it i look like i'm just a really clumsy person. WHich isn't exactly wrong. On my right arm alone, i have three. Ugh. Haha. Oh well hopefully they'll fade off soon.

I LOVE SURPRISES (well nice ones anyway) ESPECIALLY when they come in the mail in a form of a "parcel" from melbourne!!




I LOVE YOU JO! THANKS! They're SWELL! *muuaaaahhhh! (:

My current jam. Its so nice. Can't get enough of it.

"Beautiful Disaster"

Kelly Clarkson

He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme I know

He's as damned as he seems

And more heaven than a heart could hold

And if I try to save him

My whole world would cave in

It just ain't right

Lord, it just ain't right

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

He's such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth

As strong as what I believe

A tragedy with

More damage than a soul should see

But do I try to change him

So hard not to blame him

Hold me tight

Hold me tight

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

He's such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical

But he's only happy hysterical

I'm searching for some kind of miracle

Waited so long

Waited so long

He's soft to the touch

But 'fraid at the end he breaks

He's never enough

And still he's more than I can take

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

He's such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful

Lord He's so beautiful

He's beautiful

COOKIELICIOUS!

Thats the famous charmaine and mari cookie! *Laughs. Yesterday was like make cookies day! and it was waaaay fun and mathematical. (don't bother to ask why. *laughs.) And for two amateurs without a weighing scale and only a calculator to do conversions our cookies turned out quite well! Haha. THe process was damn funny too! We ended up having like flour and cookie mix and in khoo's case chocolate on her leg. Must be your punishment for gobbling down the chocolate chips. Hahaha. And FINALLY we went to lagoon for dinner, which was really nice. The ambience was waaay nice! Next destination: SERANGOON GARDENS! So shaan, max and bunt, watch out for us! *laughs.

Its amazing how one week can pass so s l o w l y and another just fly by. These past few weeks have almost literally flew by with so many things happening that i'm still coming to terms with some of them. Many believe that seeing is believing, but to me, thats not true. Seeing can be decieving actually. What makes you think what you saw is true? Everyone has the audacity to lie and some can do it so well that they say half truths or half lies, whichever way you may wish to view it. And it gets to a point where the truth may seem like a lie, or the lie like a truth. What is the truth? And what is a lie? To some the lie may be the truth and to some the truth the lie. Its so hard to know who to believe, who to trust. You can see everything happeneing before your very eyes but what if it is a ploy? What if it is an act? Then the truth that you have been thought into believing is actually a lie. But i guess it just boils down to who you want to believe. Trying to believe two opposing views is so contradictory that in the end, you seem to be living the lie and both the truth. Oh goodness. It really gives me a headache. Many say i think too much. But i guess i like thinking about things like that cause you never have an answer and you don't have to worry about getting an answer cause there will never be one.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
Thats something i believe in and won't ever stop believing in. But sometimes i wonder. Why. What is the real reason behind everything that happens. Will the reason even be reasonable? Justifiable? Or will it just be a reason for reason sake, just to fulfil the reason part of the phrase? What i believe to be a reason, maybe to some people a natural occurence. Like an action leads to a reaction. And since in doing anything, there's always a choice what if you made the other choice? Then what would be the reason behind it? What would be the reason for the consequence. But then again. why make the choice that you have made? What was the reason behind it? What does reason really mean? It has a definition, but does it have a meaning? We were all created for a reason, but do we know what it is? Will we ever know what it is? What if we don't, then have we fulfiled our lives? Or is there a reason why we do not know we exist? And just live life drifting along thinking that cause everything happens for a reason, the reason would soon catch up with you and you actually realise whatever that is happening and understand it too. To me believing in that phrase is what keeps me optimistic, its something that keeps me going. But what if one day i wake up thinking that what i believe in is actaully never true. Would there be a reason for that? I guess i'll just have to wake and see.